In that moment

In that moment, space of time, he was everything I needed and wanted and he was a challenge. In that moment, he served a purpose, he awakened my desires, my passions, my sexuality. He made me feel alive and not so alone, if only for the precious moments we stole from each other. I believe that everyone that enters our lives, enters for a purpose, either to teach us something new or to challenge our souls.

Every stolen moments is a relationship of one kind of another, even if perhaps that stolen moment is with a married man or soon to be married man then divorced and then with someone else (not me) in my case. And in the moment, I had quite the obsession with the challenge of capturing his heart and making him mine but as he stated several times, he would never date me but I loved fantasizing about him and putting him into stories and day-dreaming of the what-ifs or weaving his fantasies into stories.

But there comes a moment, when the reality doesn’t quite meet the fantasy, the stolen moments when you realize you’ve outgrown this person and he still hasn’t outgrown you but he’s moved on to a new girlfriend (still not you) and its not what you want in life. You don’t want to be the mistress anymore, you don’t want to date younger guys, you want an actual boyfriend or girlfriend in your life, someone who introduces you to their families and brings you to family picnics and things, who is here every night in your bed and only wants to be with you, someone who gets you to your core, that gets the references in your life.

I saw an old friend the other day and wondered when did he get gray hair and get so old and I realized damn, I’m getting older too but he’s not that much older than me, quite sexy and we have lot of things in common and he’s single. My friends have grandkids, we no longer talk about the kids, we talk about the grandkids!

But that’s neither here nor there, the obsession with driving past my house and constantly texting me, is quite annoying and I just didn’t know how to tell you that I’m no longer available to be your mistress. I’m not in the same moment with you anymore.

Our moment has passed, I wish him all the luck/love in the world. I hope he finds what he is looking for – if the person he is with is not giving him what he needs, he needs to move onto to someone that will give him the whole package.

Thank you for bringing me soup when I had a 103 fever, it reminded me of what it would feel like to have a boyfriend.  Thank you for making me feel alive and naughty and sexy, reminding me of who I was, for allowing me to love you in though you didn’t love me back, opening up my heart, breaking through those walls, if only for a moment in my life.

je suis le dominant

Within the kinky darkness, his secret weakness hides, but only in the early morning hours will his passion rise to wage a war with his dominate side to become the submissive in her bed.

mon amour, je suis le dominant, obtiens votre âne ici

to be continued…..

what i really need

while getting a massage with oil sounds good, your hands running over me slick with oil or giving you a slow teasing massage with lotion sounds delightful. What I really need is a good hard fuck! What are you doing on Wednesday, come see me.

All I need is a good f*ck

I came across this article on elephant journal and I have to agree with the author for the most part, the little things are easy to take care of and i agree I could take care of myself but its not the same as that physical connection with a partner and I’ve come to realize what I really really need and I’ve been missing in my life: a hot, sweaty, rapturous f*ck every once in a while, preferably more often than not.

C = hint hint




252-getting you home

This is a four part series, check back nightly for the next installment
I enter through your front door, hoping that you’re not in the living room, that you are lying in your bed sound asleep. I want to prepare your brown leather couch with the restraints and lay out all the tools before I awake you and by tools, I mean toys. I slowly cautiously come into your apartment and check the living room, nope, not in there. I check my surroundings and check your bedroom, not in there either, hmm, I wonder where you are? I send you a text and ask where you are at, you tell me you’re at wellshots with friends.

Change of plans, we need to get you home, you could be out all night. While Christian and Sam keep a lookout, I run the restraints under the bed and secure the loops on the top and bottom of the bed and push them just out of reach so you don’t notice it when you get home. I go back to the living room and lay out the toys, one by one, the little blue vibe, the orange toy, the oil, the candle. I wish I had more time but I don’t know when you’re going to show up. I take the rest of the toys and duffel bag back to the bedroom. Still not home.

We heads over to wellshots. Immediately upon arriving, Christian spots you in the crowd, after grabbing a beer, makes his way over to you, like he knows you. You glance at him, appreciate his body and then turn around. You’re with friends and no one knows your preferences. Sam and I hang back, lets see if Christian can get your attention again. Christian brushes up against you but you don’t bite, you don’t even turn around. Christian walks away. You turn around checking him out. You smile. My turn.  I move in closer, weaving my way through the crowd, I put my hand on the small of your back, lean in close so my tits are gently brushing up against you, you turn around, surprised to see me. I whisper in your ear that I have a surprise for you if you just would follow me outside.

You excuse yourself from your friends and follow me outside, Christian is leaning against the outside of the building in the shadows looking nonchalantly gorgeous tall, clean cut tousled dark brown thick hair with beautiful green eyes, his trousers sit on his hips just right, clean crisp white shirt hugging his trim muscular body. Christian walks slowly over to you and whispers into your ear that he wants to take you home, feel your hard cock in his ass and feel your lips wrapped around his hard cock. He runs his hand down your body, sending shivers down your spine. You look at me and then back at him. You tell us you’ll be right back.