panic bliss

Although you usually like to steer clear of emotional drama, denial of your fear could bring you face to face with an uncomfortable level of intensity now. The intensity of finally seeing him after months and that gorgeous blond beard he was now sprouting through me for a loop. Every single time I see him, I’m tongued-tied, can’t think straight and have this intense fear that perhaps he’s going to be mad that I’ve shown up in his space and yet in my head, the concept of seeing him played out a little differently. Let me tell you what I was planning in my head not what actually happened because in my head, it was so much more of a hot fantasy than the reality of my fear and panic.

I’m wearing a gorgeous black twirly skirt with sheepskin boots, my intent was to check out this art gallery that I’d had been hearing so much about and it was a side benefit that of course he would be there. I had planned to ignore him, not gather his attention until just the right moment, in the mix of the crowd, I would linger touchably close and graze his cock every so slightly without letting him know it was me, perhaps demand that he bent over via text so I could see his ass in his jeans, make him wonder if I was there.

Except the crowds were not existent, the art gallery just wasn’t my thing, the clothing they had on display, while interesting, I wasn’t going to fit into a size 2, some of the art on the wall was good, some just not my tastes and he was the only one there ready to go, he noticed me right away, uncanny feeling that he saw me the instant I walked through the door, we talked, I of course, feeling quite stupid and saying the most stupid things, panic rising up, up, up and away, I had to get out of there. Slow deep breaths, calming deep breaths…

In my head, this fantasy was amazing, I was hot, I was dominant, I wasn’t wearing any underwear. I’d watch him from afar blended in with the crowd while telling him what I was doing beneath my skirt, what I was imagining him doing to me at that very moment. Imagining feeling that beard between my thighs while his tongue darted in and out of my pussy. His fingers probing my ass.¬† But whoops, how did I know he now sported a beard?

But where were the crowds? I could blend into a crowd, I could gabble and hobble with the best of them, I could be anonymous in a crowd of friends or foes, I wouldn’t be standing there in a pure panic bliss alone,¬†horny and wet from just seeing his smile.

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